Natascha P. — Asphalt

So, it’s the hottest night of the year, again.
Big guns. Pastel-pink sweatbands. Over-modulated, high-pitched.
Chewing gum.
The girls you were, drinking alkopops on the table-tennis table. Brand name: Tropical. Flavour: Exotic.
Your first punches. Try-outs for an ongoing championship.
The lessons you learned: pure intolerance. Because: what else?
The girls that made you – curtsey in front of them.
This year’s summer drink: Pernod on the rocks, under the sun.
A buzz.
The bubbling aggressiveness that accompanies every so-called heightening of senses. Bubbling aggressiveness, that is: the only appropriate reaction towards these surroundings.
Lose your patience. Repeat.
Natascha. Because: who else?
The beat is a metal chain. It mellows, it circludes you.
The girl you were, karaoke-singing fantasy lyrics in front of the TV, dancing on your parents’ special-sale-from-the-Persian-shop carpet that extended through the whole length of the living room which wasn’t so big to begin with. Charity shop furniture. Fuck their charity as well.
On the windowsill: plastic roses with tiny crystalline plastic drops of dew on them.
Weight-lifting, slowly.
The hottest day of the year in a Gelsenkirchen gym. The boys: black hair, pumped muscles, hand-me-down tank-tops. The girls: fifty years old, skinny frame, homemade highlights. They make aerobic look easy. They are girls that used to be GIRLS, of course they make it look easy.
The first time you beat somebody up. The look on their face.
Sucking on ice pops in the supermarket parking lot.
Swimming pool, greasy hands, fries.
A bleeding rapist.
Essence gloss on lips, hair sticking to it.
Kanak girls picking flowers in the heath.
Stretching your muscles.
Aching. Giggling. Striking out.

(Words: Enis Maci)

Asphalt was shot by Levente Pavelka and edited by Natascha P. herself. As part of the Hamburg based music collective „one mother” she will release her new collaborative mixtape „match made in heaven“ together with the RnB singer Preach in September 2018.

Enis Maci writes essays and plays. She is the author of the forthcoming essay collection Eiscafé Europa (Edition Suhrkamp) and wrote a comment on „Asphalt“.

Video: Levente Pavelka & Natascha P.
Produced by; Pleasure Hunter
Mixed by: Anders Fallesen
Photography: Levente Pavelka